Clinging to Hope
by Jedi Master Calriel
Summary: AU of the circumstances of Edmund's betrayal. What if Jadis had not put on a kind face in her treatment of Edmund? What if Edmund was not tricked into believing her? ::warning:: mild abusetorture
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own the Chronicles of Narnia, or any of the characters/actors (although I wish I did, particularly some of the actors…;) )

A/N: Obviously, this is an AU, but I'm only changing one thing— Jadis's initial treatment of Edmund, and subsequently, his initial reaction to her. The only events this will change is how Edmund ends up with her after meeting the Beavers and how he ends up betraying his brother and sisters. In my opinion, this is a very likely telling of how things would have happen had Jadis not recognized the advantage of sweet talking Edmund. This will probably be a short story, no more than five or six chapters.

Clinging to Hope

Chapter One

Edmund looked around in awe at the wood he had stumbled into. He couldn't believe that Lucy had been telling the truth. Of course, in his heart of hearts, he knew she wouldn't lie. It was not her nature, a nature he resented because he did not understand it. He began to feel a little guilty at how he tormented her with her, at the time, ludicrous story of a magical land in the wardrobe.

Suddenly, he heard sleigh bells. He looked up and saw what seemed to be a flurry of snow moving on a swift wind. As it approached him, he realized that it was not just snow and jumped aside just before he was trampled by the white reindeer. The sleigh it was pulling stopped a few feet from him, and a short, bearded figure hopped out. He had just enough time to register the small creature as an actual dwarf before he was charged at by the knife-wielding individual.

Edmund's eyes widened at the sight of the sharp instrument, and he turned and tried to run. However, the dwarf anticipated this and caught him with his whip. He fell to the ground and the dwarf was upon him in seconds with the knife at his throat.

"What is it, Ginarbrik?" (sp?) a cool voice asked from the sleigh.

"Make him leave me alone!" Edmund cried desperately. "I didn't do anything wrong!"

"How dare you address the Queen of Narnia!" the dwarf shouted in outrage.

"I didn't know!" Edmund pleaded.

"Didn't know!" the so-called Queen cried out, indignant. "How dare you enter my dominion, Son of Adam! Now, tell me, why have you come? Who has brought you here?"

Edmund felt a flash of fear as he looked into her cold eyes, flashing with angry blue fire, and knew that this woman could and would hurt him. Her position and bearing reminded him of the dictators, Hitler and Mussolini, who his father had gone off to fight against in the war. He trembled with more than just cold as he realized that he was trapped at the moment and could do nothing more than answer her truthfully.

"My sister," he said fearfully. "I followed her in."

"And has she been here before?" the Queen demanded.

"Yes," he answered.

"Did she meet anyone? Well?" she asked at his silence and the dwarf pressed the knife to his neck a little harder.

"Yes, a faun, Tumnus, she said," Edmund answered, feeling guilty at admitting it, but not knowing why.

"And do you have any other siblings?" she inquired forcefully.

He was confused at the question. Why should it matter? But he answered anyway, fearing her wrath, "Yes, a brother and a sister, neither have been here before though."

The woman smiled cruelly. "You will bring all of your siblings to my house, just there between those two yonder hills," she said, pointing.

Edmund felt a flash of foreboding and without thinking shook his head at the proposal. He immediately realized his mistake when he saw the anger in her eyes.

"No! Well, we will teach you to defy me! Remove his shirt!" she ordered the dwarf. With much wrestling due to Edmund's struggles, he finally striped the article off. Then, at the behest of his mistress, he tied Edmund to a tree with his front facing the bark.

"Give him ten lashes," the ruthless woman commanded.

The dwarf gleefully took his whip and began to do as she bid. With the first couple lashes, Edmund fought hard to keep his tears and cries of pain in, but with the fourth stroke, he could bear it no longer. When he was finally untied, he dropped lifelessly to the ground.

"You will bring your siblings to me, Son of Adam. I know you would hate for them to suffer the same fate." With that said, her and her minion rode off, leaving Edmund lying half-naked in the snow.

The pain he felt was unbearable. All he wanted at the moment was Peter to protect him and tell him it would be okay, or Susan to soothe him and nurse his injuries, or Lucy to smile sweetly at him and cheer her with her presence. All the resentment he had been feeling these past weeks for them, all the anger he had harbored towards them, had melted away. He needed them, now more than ever. However, he knew that he couldn't just lie there and hope they would come. None of them had any idea where he was.

Painfully, he managed to drag himself over to his discarded clothing and pull his shirt over his bloody back. He then pulled his dressing gown on for what little warmth it could provide. He then got up slowly from the ground and made his way towards the lamppost. Before he made it there, a voice stopped him in his tracks.

"Edmund? Oh, Edmund!" Lucy ran towards him and wrapped her arms around him. At his cry of pain, she looked up and frowned. "Are you alright?"

Ignoring the question, he asked her one, "Where have you been?"

"With Mr. Tumnus! He's fine! The White Witch didn't get him."

"White Witch?"

Lucy leaned in secretively. "She calls herself the Queen of Narnia, but she really isn't. She's the one who makes it always winter and never Christmas. She rides around on a sleigh and turns people to stone!"

Edmund paled at that. It must have been she who he had met. If she had the power to do all of that, what could she do to him? He feared that she could and would do a lot worse to him. Right then, he wanted to leave Narnia and never come back.

"We should be getting back," Edmund simply said, trying to keep as much fear out of his voice as he could.

"You look awfully pale, are you sure you're alright?" Lucy asked.

"Well, it's freezing out here, what do you expect?" he replied, avoiding the question yet again. "How do we get out of here?"

"Come on."

OoooOoooOoooO

A few minutes later, they were out of Narnia and back in the spare room with the wardrobe. Lucy then proceeded to drag Edmund to the room he shared with Peter.

"Peter, Peter!" she cried jumping on his bed. "Wake up! I've been to Narnia again! And this time, Edmund went as well!"

When this had registered to Peter's and Susan's (who had come in at the noise) sleepy minds, they stared incredulously at Edmund.

"You saw the faun?" Peter asked.

"Well, he didn't actually go there with me. He…" She trailed off hesitantly then looked at him. "What were you doing, Edmund?"

He quickly looked down and avoided their searching eyes. "I don't really want to talk about it, and I most certainly do not want to go back there."

Lucy frowned at this statement. "Why not, Ed? Isn't it a wondrous place?"

"Not the part I saw," he said, turning his back on her.

"Edmund," Susan said, reaching out and touching his back. At his gasp of pain, she immediately withdrew her hand.

"Ed?" Peter said in askance as he got up and stood next to his brother. Edmund tried to shy away from him, but Peter persisted and managed to get the dressing gown off of him. What he saw made him gasp in horror.

"Edmund, who did this to you?" Peter questioned urgently, looking in shock at the amount of blood that had bled through his brother's pajama top.

Tbc…


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: See Chapter One

Clinging to Hope

Chapter Two

"Edmund," Peter said with determination when he received no reply. "Who did this to you?"

"The Witch. She…" here he broke off as a half-stifled sob left him. "Peter, please don't make me go back there," he begged desperately, launching himself at his brother and holding on for dear life.

Cautiously, Peter wrapped his arms around Edmund, being mindful to hurt him. "It's alright, Ed. She won't get you again. I won't let her. I will protect you."

"Come on, Edmund," Susan said gently. "Let's get that shirt off of you and take care of your back. It would not do to have it become infected."

Edmund reluctantly allowed his brother to peel away his blood-soaked shirt and reveal the ugly lacerations on his back. Susan then took charge, ordering Peter to get some warm water and a towel, and then settling herself down to treat her little brother's back.

While the older two were caring for Edmund's physical wounds, Lucy sat herself down at his side and held his hand throughout their ministrations, not even complaining when he clenched his hand very tightly around hers to avoid crying out in pain. Lucy hated that his first experience with the amazing land of Narnia had resulted in this. And that she had led him there and left him at the mercy of the White Witch, even if unintentionally, was even more appalling to her.

Susan took care to clean Edmund's back without causing him too much pain. It broke her heart to see him so. Sure, he could be disagreeable at times, but he never deserved to be treated like this. This was her baby brother! How could anybody hurt him so?

As Peter looked at the silent tears streaming down his brother's face, he felt so much grief, anger, and guilt that he didn't know which emotion to address first. He was saddened that Edmund had to go through this, get hurt this badly. He was also angry at the person who had done this to him. But most of all, he was guilty that he wasn't there to protect him. He hadn't even known that he was gone. He was supposed to look after him, and he failed. Because of his negligence, his brother was in pain.

OoooOoooOoooO

A few days later, Susan managed to convince them all that they needed to get some fresh air. Both her and Peter were very concerned over Edmund's quiet and clingy behavior lately. He wouldn't stray very far from any of his siblings, as if he needed one by at every second. Peter especially was aggrieved by this change in his brother. He was still blaming himself for letting this happen, and had resolved to leave his brother's side only when absolutely necessary.

To get all of their minds occupied, Susan suggested a game of cricket. Lucy opted out, stating that she didn't have much aptitude for sports, but both Peter and Susan together managed to convince Edmund to play. In an unfortunate event, however, this sport took a turn that would make Edmund's constant state of fear much worse.

Peter pitched (if that's the term used for cricket? Don't know) the ball to Edmund, who took a mighty swing at it. Unluckily, it smashed straight into a window of the professor's house. They rushed inside to see the damage done and, seeing the extent of it, were very understandably apprehensive over what the professor would do.

They heard footsteps in the hall, followed by a voice that they all recognized in its foul temper.

"The Macready!" Susan exclaimed.

"Come on!" Peter said, tugging Lucy (who was closest to him) towards the door. They ran down the hallways, but the footsteps seemed to anticipate their every move. Peter tried a door at the end of one hallway, but it was locked. Then, Lucy tried the next one, and they all ran in, not noticing which room it was.

Edmund looked up in horror as he realized where he was. He looked at the innocuous looking wardrobe in terror, afraid that even though he wasn't in Narnia, the Witch knew he was near and was waiting.

Footsteps coming towards the door startled him out of his thoughts and he saw Susan ushering them all into the wardrobe. He stood rooted to his spot. No, he couldn't go in there. Peter gently took him by the hand.

"Don't worry, Ed. I'll be right with you. Now, come on!"

They both jumped into the wardrobe and pulled it to, just as the footsteps halted outside the door. They all backed up as far as they could, trying to escape the wrath of the housekeeper, which they would certainly feel if she got a hold of them. Before they knew what was happening, they were all in a wooded place, with snow all about them.

With a sinking dread and unimaginable terror, Edmund realized that he was again in Narnia.

Tbc…


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: See Chapter One

A/N: Thank you so much for all of your reviews! Some of you are wondering how Edmund is going to betray the others and why it has to happen. Not going to tell how, but it has to happen because Aslan has to die on the Stone Table and come back to life. I'm not rewriting the whole story, just the circumstances.

Clinging to Hope

Chapter Three

Peter was very disturbed at this turn of events. He didn't know what to do. On one hand, his youngest sister was gazing around at this magical land in wonder, loving every second of her return. On the other, more troubling hand, he had his brother, who had attached himself to his side, obviously terrified at staying a moment longer. At the moment, Peter most certainly didn't want to have his brother here, but he also didn't want to leave for many reasons. One, of course, was his sister's happiness. Another was the strange feelings this land evoked within him. But the strongest reason was the desire to hunt down this Witch who had hurt his brother and make her pay.

"We should go back," Susan said softly, looking back to where they could still see the opening of the wardrobe.

Looking at Edmund, Peter had to agree. Their brother gave Susan a relieved look at her proposal. Lucy, however, responded before anybody could say anymore.

"But, we can't yet!" she exclaimed. "I know you've had a bad experience here, Edmund, but you must give it another chance! Come on, I'll introduce you to Mr. Tumnus. He'll show you that not all of Narnia is bad! Why, he's the one who saved me from the White Witch!"

At the name of Tumnus, Edmund paled. He had just realized that when he had told the Witch of the faun Lucy had met, he had probably given Tumnus over to her mercy, which, Edmund knew, she had very little of.

"What is it, Ed?" Peter asked, concerned.

"I think we should go and see the faun. Maybe it will help me a little," Edmund said with a somewhat shaky smile. Inwardly, he felt that he had to make sure that the faun had not suffered because of him.

OoooOoooOoooO

When they neared the Tumnus's cave, Lucy ran forward after a gasp of shock. The older three soon saw what she had. The door was broken down and there were obvious signs of a struggle. Edmund ran forward with the rest of them to catch Lucy, having a dreadful feeling that this was all his fault.

On Peter's reading of the note left behind by the Secret Police, he broke away from the others, knowing that he didn't deserve their warmth and protection after what he had done.

Peter, on realizing that Edmund, who had nearly become a permanent shadow of his, had distanced himself, immediately realized that something was wrong.

"Ed?" he said in askance, moving towards his brother.

Trying desperately to reign in his tears, Edmund just turned away.

"Edmund, what's wrong?" Susan asked, noticing what was happening.

"This is my fault," he said at last. "I'm the one who told the Witch that the faun helped Lucy. I'm the reason he was taken. Me, it's my fault." Here, he finally lost the battle against his tears and they rushed out.

"Oh, Edmund," Peter said, wrapping his arms around his little brother. "You didn't know. How could you?"

"It's alright, Edmund," Lucy said quietly. "I'm sure Mr. Tumnus wouldn't blame you."

"You were afraid," Susan agreed. "You didn't do it intentionally."

All of a sudden, they heard a _psst_. Looking towards the sound, all they saw was a robin.

"Did that bird just _psst_ us?" Susan asked in amazement.

They rushed outside and eventually came upon a Beaver. While they were following him, Edmund began thinking. He was afraid of this place. Why shouldn't he be? _She_ probably knew that he was here. He most certainly did not want to come across her again. However, he was beginning to think that there was no way to avoid such a meeting. Then he began to remember her last words to him. _'You wouldn't want your siblings to suffer the same fate.'_ He didn't want any of them to go through what he had been through. But how to stop her? Not by bringing them to her, no, that would not do. But what if he went to her himself? The Witch had no way of knowing who is brother and sisters were or where they were or even what they looked like. But she might be able to find him. He had to leave them. He had to keep them safe.

Dreading this decision, yet believing that it was the only way, he clung to Peter all the way to the Beaver's dam, wanting to savor the last moments of protection that he probably would ever have.

Tbc...


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: See Chapter One

Clinging to Hope

Chapter Four

Peter watched Edmund in increasing worry as they ate the meal that the Beavers had so kindly given them. He had gone very quiet after they had left the faun's cave, well, quieter. He hadn't been himself ever since he had first gotten in to Narnia. Peter sighed inwardly at that thought. His brother didn't deserve this. Sure, he had been quite sullen as of late, but that was because of the war and Dad being gone. And now this Witch had gone and…

He took a deep breath in order to calm himself. He had always been protective of all his siblings, and when the war came, he had become the so-call 'man of the house.' Now, he just wanted to wring the Witch's neck, and at the same time, he wanted to cry for what his little brother had been put through.

His attention shifted slightly as Mr. Beaver began to tell them about Aslan. He felt a thrill run through him at the very sound of the name. It was as if he could make it all better, he could help him protect his family. And Peter wanted to see him as soon as possible were all this true.

Unfortunately, Peter was so caught up in what the Beavers were telling them, that he did not notice Edmund quietly slip away, a fact that he would later beat himself up over.

OoooOoooOoooO

Edmund looked at the Witch's frozen fortress in determined terror. He thought back to the Beavers' dam and longingly towards his loving family who would do anything to keep him safe. He also thought wistfully about Aslan, whose very name gave him reason to hope. He shook these thoughts from his head though. He was here to give Peter, Susan, and Lucy a chance to reach Aslan. Never mind about him. If he were with them, the Witch would find them for sure. Better to let her have just him than all of them.

He walked resolutely through the courtyard and allowed himself to be taken and locked away in a frozen cell. The food they gave him was horrid, bread far too molded to be fit to eat and water that had already turned to ice.

"If you're not going to eat that…" came a weak voice from the next cell.

Edmund wordlessly offered the meager victuals. The voice belonged to a faun, who had obviously been through hell. There were bruises on his face and his legs dragged uselessly behind him as he crawled to the small opening between the two cells.

"Mr. Tumnus?" Edmund inquired, realizing that this could be the faun that had helped Lucy, the faun that he had turned in.

"What's left of him," was the reply. Then the faun took a good look at him. "You're Lucy Pevensie's brother?"

He nodded.

"You have the same nose."

Edmund's eyes filled with tears that he valiantly held in. "I'm sorry you are here," he whispered. "It's all my fault."

The faun looked at the boy in puzzlement. "What do you mean?"

"I told the Witch that you had helped Lucy. I didn't mean to," Edmund insisted. "I was just so frightened. I never— I never— "

Tumnus reached over and lay a gentle hand on the boy's shoulder. "It's alright. We'll both get out of this, eh?" he said, knowing that is was a pretty much empty promise. Then his eyes sobered. "Is your sister safe?"

"I hope so," came the reply.

Tbc…

Sorry about the length! Review and maybe I'll update in a day or two!


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: See Chapter One

Clinging to Hope

Chapter Five

Susan listened with growing unease as the Beavers explained how all of Narnia was expecting them to be their heroes. This was wrong. They couldn't save this place, why would they want to? This land had already caused her baby brother so much pain. How could they expect her family to risk their lives after that? She looked at her siblings to gage their reactions, and she sat up with as a thrill of fear shot through her.

"Where's Edmund?"

Peter looked frantically around him. His terror-filled blue eyes met hers. They rushed outside in a panic, calling for Edmund.

"There's no use for that," Beaver said. "He's gone to the White Witch. You can always tell the ones who have been touched by her."

"You don't know what you're talking about!" Peter said harshly. Susan placed a hand on his arm to calm him. He took a deep breath and then continued. "Edmund has already suffered by her hands, why would he go to her?"

"If he didn't go to her out of misguided loyalty, then he went to her out of fear, most likely for you."

"We have to go after him!" Peter exclaimed.

"No, by now he's made it to her house. She wants all four of ya! Right now we have to go!"

"But—"

"No buts. Aslan is the only hope your brother has now."

OoooOoooOoooO

"I have news for you, Son of Adam," the cold voice of the White Witch cut through the dungeons. "My wolves were able to follow your tracks to the Beavers' Dam."

Horror filled Edmund to the brim. No, she was not supposed to be able to find his siblings. His coming here was supposed to keep them safe!

"They tore that dam apart and couldn't find them! Where have they gone?" the Witch demanded and Edmund breathed a sigh of relief. She hadn't found them. They were still safe. "Well?"

"I—I don't kn-know!" he stuttered, praying she believed him.

"I think you do, Son of Adam! Now what do I have to do to get your to admit it? Would you like to receive the same treatment as before?"

"You can do whatever you want to me, but I will not let you get your hands on my brother and sisters!" he said boldly.

"No," she said shrewdly. "You don't care what happens to you. If you did, you wouldn't be here. So what to do?" Her gaze shifted to Tumnus. "But what about him? Would you let the punishment for your silence fall on him?"

Edmund's fear-filled eyes met the faun's. "Don't do it—" Tumnus's voice was cut off by a swift kick to his stomach by one of the Witch's lackeys.

"Well?" the Witch asked.

Edmund looked at Tumnus, the faun who had risked everything to save his little sister's life. The faun who had forgiven him when he confessed to giving him up to the White Witch. He would not wish what he had gone through on anyone, but this faun most certainly didn't deserve it. He knew what he had to do. He just prayed his siblings could reach Aslan before the Witch found them.

"They are going to the Stone Table to meet Aslan," he said resignedly.


End file.
